I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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