I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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