i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
