Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
