now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
