I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
