explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
