Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
