we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
