i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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