Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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