We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
