He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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