We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
