There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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