I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
