Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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