You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
