Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
