I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
that is very illegal...i love you.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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