my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
