So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
