Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
