I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
