If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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