Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
