3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
