Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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