Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize