Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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