On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
