I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
