I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
