What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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