You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
