My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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