8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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