does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
