There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
