Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Randomize