He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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