I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize