Yo dont text me then not text me
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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