a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize