Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
