shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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