also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
