i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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