found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Dignity is for republicans.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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