Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
