I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
