Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
