Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
