this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
im holly from the hills drunk
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
