so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
