I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
