Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
im holly from the hills drunk
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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