i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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