Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
