I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
