I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
