loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
