I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
